Of Moxie and Muggle Devices
by Emcnary
Summary: When Sirius finds a cast-aside Muggle device in the Lupin's garage, the boys find out first-hand why wizards and Muggle technology don't always mix. Written for round 7 of the Quidditch League Fanfiction competition.


Sifting through the years of accumulated junk that a typical garage tended to harbor seemed like a lost cause to Remus. Especially since it was a beautiful summer day, and his father couldn't tell him for sure if they still owned the object for which he was searching. Remus pushed aside another box on a high shelf and regretted that his father had overheard the conversation on the King's Cross platform where he and his friends—actually, as usual, it was Sirius and James leading the charge with the latest plan—had discussed going on a camping trip during their break from school. Lyall Lupin had offered the group the use of the tent they'd camped in a few times when Remus was young—until his mother had decided that she didn't like the muddy floors and insects that came with camping.

Truth be told, Remus had never liked camping all that much either. With no siblings or cousins around, camping as a child with only his parents had been a quiet and somewhat boring experience. However, the prospect of spending a weekend with his friends during what Sirius continually reminded them was 'their last year of freedom' actually sounded like fun. If only they could find the tent. Which was why he was willing to lead the search for the long ago cast aside item. With a sigh, Remus pushed the box back into place and turned his head at the exclamation of his friend, who was searching through the contents of his father's work bench.

"Is this a telly?" Sirius asked excitedly as he pulled a large rectangular object from the back of the bench.

Remus leaned over for a closer look and smiled. "That, you Pure-blood prat, is what the Muggles call a microwave." He reached over the pulled the handle on the door, opening the appliance.

"What does it do?" Sirius asked as he opened and closed the door a few times.

"It heats food," Remus replied.

"I was hoping we could plug it in and watch cartoons," Sirius said disappointedly as he inspected the glass tray that sat in the bottom.

"How do you know about cartoons?" Remus asked. He knew none of the boys' homes had televisions. Not even his Muggle mother kept a television in their house anymore; the only time he had seen cartoons were the few times his mother had taken him to the cinema.

Sirius gave a shrug as he turned the microwave around and examined the spot where the plug was located. "Ted and Andie show them to my little cousin." He looked up and asked Remus, "Did you find the tent?"

"I think it's a lost cause, Padfoot," Remus said with a sigh.

"Don't say that," Sirius said, lifting the microwave from the workbench. "This is our last year of freedom. After we graduate we won't have time for stuff like camping."

"So you've said." Remus furrowed his brow at his friend. "What are you doing?"

"Nicking this for the dormitory." Sirius grinned.

"I believe it's out here collecting dust because it doesn't work," Remus said as he gathered the cord and set it on top of the microwave so Sirius didn't trip over it. Even though the contraption no longer worked, Remus knew he was likely arguing a losing battle with his friend; when Sirius got an idea in his head, it was near impossible to talk him out of it.

"Here I thought you were a wizard," Sirius said with a roll of his eyes. "We'll use a charm. Speaking of which." He set his new prize at his feet and drew his wand from the back pocket of his blue jeans. " _Accio_ tent!"

Remus drew his wand as the tent they'd been searching for came hurtling toward them from the far corner of the garage. " _Protego!"_ The tent collided with the Shield Charm he'd cast and dropped to the floor next to the microwave with a loud clatter of tent poles crashing against the garage floor.

"Nice one, Moony." Sirius used his wand to shrink the microwave to a more manageable size and picked it back up. "Let's go find James and see if we can charm this thing to work while we wait for Pete to get here."

.

" _Moony!"_

Remus heard Sirius' voice over the din of the students gathered at King's Cross Station. Remus turned to see Sirius waving to him from where he stood with a young couple. He recognized the woman as Sirius' cousin Andromeda and the man—who Remus remembered being a Beater for the Hufflepuff Quidditch team when he had been a first or second year—he realized must be Andromeda's husband, Ted. A little girl stood between them, wide-eyed as she took in the chaos of the station.

Sirius turned and spoke briefly with his cousin and gestured in Remus' direction before he pushed his way through the crowds.

"Your cousin come to see you off?"

Sirius beamed. "Yep. Said I deserved a proper send-off, being my last year and all."

"You mean your mother didn't show?" Remus asked with mock astonishment.

"Oh, she's here," Sirius said darkly, pointing over Remus' shoulder. "She had to see off the golden child."

Remus turned to glance at Walburga Black standing in front of Regulus smoothing his Slytherin tie and instantly felt bad mentioning the woman, even in jest. His friend wouldn't say it, but he knew leaving home had been a difficult choice.

"Want to meet my feisty little cousin, Nymphadora?" Sirius asked, a grin back on his face. "Only don't call her Nymphadora unless you want kicked in the bollocks. 'Course she'd have to punch you rather than kick since you're so bloody tall."

Remus raised his eyebrows at his friend's rapid speech and said wryly, "I'll pass, thanks."

"Suit yourself," Sirius replied with a chuckle. "I'm going to say goodbye to the best of the Black sisters. Listen," he said, lowering his voice. "Open your trunk for a moment. Filch will search mine so I'm putting the microwave in yours."

"Are you honestly going to try and sneak that thing in?" Remus looked over his shoulder to make sure his parents were still speaking with the Potters.

"Of course," Sirius said, reaching into the pocket of his leather jacket. "We got the thing to work, didn't we? And Ted gave me popcorn."

Remus sighed as Sirius pulled a few plastic-wrapped packages out of his pocket. "If we get caught—"

"Oh come on, it's our last year of freedom," Sirius said pleadingly.

"You say that again and I'll microwave your brain!" Remus hissed. Not only had Sirius reminded them daily of that fact all summer, if anyone was aware it was their last year of freedom, it was Remus. School was his sanctuary. Once he graduated, he would have to face the prospect of trying to convince someone—anyone—to hire a werewolf.

The train whistle sounded, breaking Remus from his thoughts. Knowing he was, as usual, unable to say no to the schemes his friends came up with, he bent down and released the latches of his trunk.

"That's a good man," Sirius said as he crouched down next to Remus and shoved the packages of popcorn and a bundle wrapped in parchment into the trunk. Clapping Remus on the shoulder, Sirius grinned and said, "What's the worst that could happen?"

.

"This, Padfoot! This is the worst that could happen!" Remus bellowed as he waved his pillow to waft away the smoke that was pouring from the microwave sitting on the floor of their dorm room. Remus paused for a moment and grabbed Peter—who was staring, apparently horror-struck and unable to move—by the arm and shoved him toward the window. "Open a window, Pete!"

"I must have overdone the charm," Sirius said, his arms crossed over his chest as he contemplated the smoky appliance.

"I'll make sure to help you revise that chapter in the text before NEWT's," Remus said irritably. "But for now could you get off your arse and help? The smoke detection wards are going to alert the entire castle!"

All three boys froze as the door was flung open and James appeared in the doorway with Professor McGonagall standing behind him. Her stern gaze swept around the room, finally settling on the microwave still issuing smoke.

"Is that a Muggle device, Mr. Black?" McGonagall asked as she stepped around James to enter the room and drew her wand.

Remus could tell that Sirius was fighting hard not to smile as he answered, "Yes, ma'am."

McGonagall waved her wand wordlessly at the microwave and the smoke stopped. She turned in a circle, muttering an incantation under her breath and the smell of smoke and charred popcorn was immediately gone. She placed her wand back in her robes and turned to the three boys with her hands on her hips. "Does this item belong in a school of magic?" she asked looking between the three of them.

"No, ma'am," they answered in unison.

Remus looked over to James still standing in the doorway and nearly smiled at the sight of his shoulders shaking in silent laughter, a hand clapped over his mouth.

"If you were caught bewitching such an item next year, you would receive a fine from the Ministry's Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office," McGonagall said, eyeing the three boys who'd been in the room with the offending appliance. "As you are still students, there will be no fine, but I am confiscating the device."

Disappointment was written across Sirius' face as McGonagall marched over and picked up the microwave from the floor. Remus saw the corners of his mouth twitch and knew that he was planning on saying something he hoped would get a rise from their strict professor, which would likely do nothing but earn him further punishment.

"Can we have the device back, Profesor?" Sirius asked. "After graduation?"

Remus watched as McGonagall's mouth—already a thin line of disapproval—thinned further as she contemplated his words. Just as he thought she was going to send Sirius straight to Filch for a late-night detention filled with some sort of terrible task that likely included cleaning something with a toothbrush, McGonagall gave a nearly imperceptible nod of her head.

"Very well, Mr. Black." She turned on her heel and strode toward the door, stopping after a few paces and turning back to the boys. "Oh, I nearly forgot. Detention tomorrow for the three of you."

Once McGonagall had left, James stepped into the room and shut the door behind him. "I can't believe you gits tried the thing without me!"

"Couldn't wait around all term for the Head Boy to be available," Sirius said. "After all, It's our—"

"Last year of freedom," James finished with a groan. "We get it, Pads, all right?"

Remus shook his head and smiled as James and Sirius lamented the loss of the microwave and marveled at McGonagall's agreement to return it to them at the end of the year. As he crossed the room to shut the window that Peter had finally managed to wrench open, he realized Sirius was right: it truly was their last year of freedom. The last year of pranks and detentions. The last year of Hogsmeade visits and feasts in the Great Hall. The last year of being constantly surrounded by the best friends Remus could have ever hoped for. As much as he was dreading being out in the real world the following year, he needed to put that dread aside and enjoy the time he had left in school. It really was their last year of freedom, and he decided he wanted to enjoy it—classes and detentions and Muggle cooking devices and all—as much as possible.

* * *

A/N: This is for round 7 of the Quidditch League Fanfiction competetion

Challenge: Muggle Me This

Prompts: 2. (Object) microwave, 8. (Dialogue) You say that again and I'll microwave your brain!", 14. (Word) cartoons

Word count: 1956 per Google docs


End file.
